FizzleSnitch Louise Sorensen June10, 2011
This is a Friday Flash Fiction Challenge #13 from Chuck Wendig’s Blog
Topic; Dirty Ass Sex Moves shortlink http://wp.me/p1BAlV-b
Observer A flexed its antennae and feathered Observer B on the helmet.
“I’m so glad to be here with you, Sir or Madame, as the case may be,” it said.
“Sir, today, I think. Yes, winter in The Peninsulas is spectacular. Have you gotten in any sliding down the incline?” said Observer B.
“Not as yet. I came here specifically to meet you. It is an honour to observe the pond life with you, Sir. I’ve never seen the grundlebunnies or wibbleforbs any perkier. They’re disrupting every level in their haste to mate. Uhm… have you any specific designation?”
“Ahem. You may call me Ob B. But only for today, mind you. And I shall call you Ob A, as it pleases me,” he said with a tap of his left hind appendage.
“Wow. Thanks. I’m honoured.”
“I thought your technique for sucking up those ignars at supper last night was very symmetrical,” said Ob A.
“Indeed?” said Ob B, rustling a little closer to Ob A. He snaked an arm around her ducolax. They watched the light crash at the edges of the pond and snacked on protein packs from the hotel . The grundlebunnies delighted them as they leaped and breached in the surf, chasing the wibbleforbs which were trying to mate and at the same time avoid being love gifts for the grundelbunnies.
Light streamed in continuously; the two observers supplemented their energy requirements with skimmed photons.
“I feel no desire to move to a higher energy level,” said Ob B.
“Yes, this is most pleasant. You’re nicer in person than in your simulations,” said Ob A.
“Thankyou. You’re pretty awesome yourself. Oh oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”
They both stared at the pond. The Grendlebunnies had started beggibodding. Pond matter was being ejected this way and that in their frenzy.
“Oh my god,” said OB A, “ do you see that Alpha bunnie? It’s got it’s bedonkaschitz out and is going for that Beta. It’s fumbledonking the bejizzel out of that poor, poor Beta. I don’t know how any species can carry on when that kind of behaviour is necessary for reproduction.”
“Wait a minute,” said Ob B, “ My helmet is all steamed up… can’t see.” He shot a thin line of radiation at the offending steam. “There, that’s better.” His visual organs almost flew out of his secondary abdomen when he saw the feezlefubbing going on in the pond. Nodules erupted on his thorax, and he extended a tentacle to Ob A.
Ob A moved closer to him and rubbed gently on his medial forecresh with her lush finnderknobs.
“You know what this means, don’t you?” said Ob B, his metabolism streaming energy to his throbbing forecresh. “We’ll be changing our status from mountain and ant, to level plain. And after your head explodes and releases all the little freddleclumpers, I’ll have all my hands full preventing them from devouring you until it grows back.”
“You can have no possible idea how long I’ve dreamed of this moment,” she sighed, leaning in closer to him. Saving to memory, she deployed her struts, and braced herself.