Beyond Curtains of Lace

Well, here we go again. My last entry for this flashfiction was 494 words. Over the 400 word limit. So I reworked Beyond the Lace Curtains to this new piece.  379 words.

Beyond Curtains of Lace             Louise Sorensen October 10, 2012   image    website    shortlink

Only three people heard the faint strain of Flamenco guitar playing upon the wind that All Hallows Eve. Melinda the rider, Mateo the warrior, and Anna Maria the dancer. Of the three, only the dancer followed the music to the crumbling house brooding on the hill.

The old church bell tolled twelve. Peering through the glass French doors, the dancer startled as pale lace curtains lifted from the wall.

Green mist filled the room, the doors yawned wide.

The dancer entered.

With an unseen wind the curtains filled. A woman pale as bone appeared, glided ‘cross  the wooden floor with bruising kisses from her dancing shoes. The guitar awoke, eyes bright, played harder. The woman, rhythm faster, eyed the dancer.

The dancer dreamed the music on her lips, hands high stirred the burning air with finger tips, struck the bare wood floor with heels, soft leather. The floor trembled to her rough caress. Throughout the empty house her footsteps echoed, drumbeat of a hollow heart.

The woman  tattooed stars and circles on the floor, the dancer matched her step for step. A violin wept lost love, revenge, betrayal. A trumpet sang out molten notes, despair, and hope.

The woman sighed, ‘Dance with me,’ upon the rushing air.

They whirled around, bathed in moonlight steaming through the open doors. The woman held out her hand “Come with me, stay with me, be with me.’

Green lightnings crackled in the air, the walls gently parted. Soft lightnings stroked the dancer’s skin, then minnow quick, flashed away.
The lightnings  spun together, wove a man. The woman laced the dancer tight.

The dancer fought with all her might, the dreamy wrappings.

Tore away the lacy curtains made of ghosts. Escaped the woman pale as bone, the dark eyed man sketched all in lightnings. Flew through the open French doors. Disappeared into the lonely night.

The wail of the woman, the cry of the man pursued her, spurring on her flight.

For it was not her time to leave the town, all the life within.

Not her time to release the lovers, dance in the woman’s place.

Not her time to be lost forever in a silent world, beyond curtains of lace.

About louisesor

As I say in my twitter profile @louise3anne "I am a part of all that I have met..." from one of my favourite poems, 'Ulysses' by Tennyson.I believe that we are ALL a part of all that we have met. You can also find me on FaceBook.
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34 Responses to Beyond Curtains of Lace

  1. Jules says:

    There’s such poetry in your language. Lovely.

    • louisesor says:

      Thank you Jules. I really enjoyed your piece too. In fact, if I forget to mention it, I read all the pieces for the contest and was impressed by the high level of ability. As always, learned a lot.

  2. I know I commented before you reworked the piece, but just wanted to reiterate that it drew me right in with Anna Maria! Really enjoyed it Louise!

  3. This fit the picture you used really well, missed your original post but really liked this one, great job 🙂

  4. mysoulstears says:

    A little magical tale for Halloween. I like it. It was fun to read.

  5. Great use of language – the slightly disjointed imagery was perfect for the paranormal scene – I really loked it.

  6. Sarah says:

    Wow, I felt like I was spinning around the room to the woeful music…I found the peice very poetic and thought it would work well as a poem too. Brilliant!

  7. Brilliant, the haunting imagery. Lace curtains, dancing, despair, hope it worked so well. I loved the read, thanks!

  8. Oh my god–this is soooo gorgeous, and perfect just before Halloween! I absolutely loved it–thanks for sharing : )

  9. drmagoo says:

    Very nicely done. It made me wonder what Melinda the rider and Mateo the warrior were doing during the performance!

  10. I’m glad you decided to resubmit, Louise. I actually think the edits add an elegance to the rhythm of the piece, like a flamenco. Thanks for entering!

  11. Meg McNulty says:

    Just gorgeous – cant decide if it’s poetry or prose, I just know it is lyrically lovely and that the language is stunning!

  12. jtsuruoka says:

    Lovely… it reads like a song, powerful and dark…

  13. Beautifully poetic with a rhythm that is a joy to read. And the details–minnow quick–made it so easy to see this. This piece is nothing short of vibrant with a chilling story stuck just beneath.

  14. Holly says:

    Such lovely poetry, Louise. Thanks for the beautiful read.

  15. Rebecca Fyfe says:

    Wow. Such beautiful use of language and haunting imagery. A lovely piece to read.

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